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Hey Reader -

Tech executive Dametra Johnson-Marletti built her reputation on being a no-nonsense leader of high-performing teams. But along the way, she began to rethink the all-gas, no-brakes approach.

On a podcast Dametra reflected, "You gotta be yourself. That being said, I have learned over the years to be more effective in who I am. People will say, 'This is who I am, and you can take it or leave it.' Well you know what? A lot of companies are gonna leave it today because there's 10,000 people behind you who will do your job in a different, more effective way."

What Are You Broadcasting?

I thought of Dametra's advice as I watched a video duet. A TikToker filmed a staff meeting and gave a quick nope when her manager asked her to turn on the camera.

Then the TikToker states that on-screen time was mentioned during onboarding as sometimes optional. The manager concurs but says this particular get-together is a time when everyone should be on camera. Another no.

After an awkward silence, the TikToker says she taped and transcribed the orientation and is willing to forward the transcript to HR "so they're aligned."

Thud.

Use Soft Skills to Make Effective Choices

In the November series, "Pass the Masterclass," we're discussing how soft skills can help you change common mistakes into empowering wisdom. The TikToker may have thought she exuded self-confidence, but did you catch all the chances to be adaptable and de-escalate?

For instance, she accidentally broadcast ideas such as:

• My tone and delivery are questionable
• I may not be a cultural fit
• And although I'm not comfortable turning on my camera, I am comfortable breaking my company NDA by posting this video to TikTok. (OK—that last one's my lens as a legal professional.)

What the TikToker didn't know was that being flexible doesn't mean foregoing your principles. Instead, you're adjusting as the discussion unfolds, a tactic successful negotiators do day in and day out.

So, here are three easy ways to stay flexible and one AI prompt to customize for your circumstances:

1. Check Your Choices: Are questionable behaviors becoming a habit? Nip them in the bud. Otherwise, keep it moving if someone's simply having a bad day.
2. Cultivate Your Timing: Part of flexibility is judgment about when and how to approach someone. Pro tip: Bickering as the whole team dials into the Big Room meeting isn't ideal timing.
3. Do the Two-Step: Concessions may be necessary but follow up with two steps: (1) stay firm that a plan must happen; (2) stay flexible as the details come together.
4. AI Prompt: Describe five work situations

Misunderstandings will happen, but you get to decide if they're today's annoyance or something more serious.

And if you need a style icon, think Beyonce. Do you think she got to where she is by fighting every pointless fight that crossed her path? 😉

Make this the year you pass the masterclass on de-escalating and level up to consistently effective choices.

All the best,

Michelle Mains

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